Wednesday, July 23, 2008

One day closer

Today started out a little tougher for me. We were told that he would have all of his cords and stuff taken out, so I was prepared for Hudson to not be attached to anything when I arrived early in the morning after feeding Bailey, but that wasn't quite the case. I was also expecting Hudson to want to eat more and move around more today, but he didn't want to do either of these and I was very discouraged. I find it really hard to have a good attitude when I have unmet expectations, when I think things are going to be one way and then they are switched for the worse. I know that overall he is doing fabulous, way beyond anybody's original anticipations, but I guess I somehow figured that the new kidney would be some sort of miracle pill, that it would just fix everything right away and it has not.

I know this might sound crazy to most of you because he IS doing so well, it's just that we (and he) have waited on the sidelines for two and a half years now and it is so hard to be patient. God has really been pounding that into me lately! I know that God is still in the process of redeeming Hudson's little body as He is even for parts of my life and this takes time sometimes, but its still hard to be patient.

God was really gracious to me today, though, because right when I was the most discouraged, the Oldhams (some friends from church) came by with some food and encouragement for us. It was so timely - the Lord new I needed it, and I did much better throughout the rest of the day. Hudson did too. He was in some pain earlier and even throughout much of the day, but we're a bit more on top of it with the medicine. He probably hasn't eaten because he has been hurting. Nobody wants to eat when they are in pain! Oh, he has pooed several times today. Yeah for poo! Thanks for praying for him and please pray that the levels of his anti-rejection meds will keep going up because that's the one thing that could keep him from coming home soon.

We have been told repeatedly that it is a strong possibility that we can come home Friday, which is AMAZING, but I am worried that this won't happen and we'll be stuck here for the weekend. I loathe hospitals, always have ever since my dad had cancer, and I really want to get Hudson home. We actually got to take him on a short walk outside, but we couldn't stay long because he was hurting too badly. Hopefully he'll have a bit more freedom tomorrow. We'll keep you posted, hope you enjoy the picture.

Kristi

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kristi.....Psalm 18 comes to mind "I love THEE O Lord, my STRENGTH. The Lord is my ROCK and my FORTRESS and my DELIVERER, my GOD, my ROCK, in whom I take refuge; my SHIELD and the HORN of my SALVATION, my STRONGHOLD..." If anyone believes this it is you (your dear dad taught it to me time and again :))...take hold of it again, see it with eyes of faith. "To HEAR with my heart, to SEE with my soul, to be guided by a HAND I CAN NOT hold, to trust in a way that I can not see...that's what faith must be." You said it very well- that the unmet expectations are the hardest to bear...ditto ditto :) He is in it all! I can' decide who is cutest in the picture...you or Hudson! Will be in prayer for you today. Carol

Connie said...

Thinking of you and praying for you all today.

It's nice to think that one day all of this will be a distant memory, and you'll look back and see the Lord's hand on each step of the way. Truly, He's got you covered!

Trusting Him with you for a release on Friday!!

Very sweet photo of you two!

Love, Connie

Jenifer said...

Kristi, has the Lord ever given you a promise for Hudson that you can cling to no matter what things look like? He did that for me with Ben. It is from Psalm 118, "I will not die, but live and tell the works of the Lord. The Lord has disciplined me severely, but He has not given me over to death." If you have a promise He has given you from His word, cling to it with all your heart and soul (like the woman clinging to the hem of Jesus' garment). If He hasn't yet, my prayer is that He will.

Hold tightly onto faith, which is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen.

Your family is in my prayers.

Much love,
Jenifer

Blanchard Pickles said...

Kristi
As a mother, I think we have so many things to worry about and expectations that we seem to hold on to for ourselves and our kids... When things do not go the way we planned its hard not to get frustrated and wonder why God is doing what He is doing and not meeting our expectations. The passage in Jer 29:11-14 have been my life long verses and have comforted me more times than I can count as a mother when MY expectations go unmet but HIS plans are played out... "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." God has Hudson in His hands Kristi and I know its hard to always see that but hold on to those verses and have FAITH He will be enough for you both when it feels like unmet expectations are coming on...
We are lifting you and Hudson in prayer and love
Darby

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristi,
Thanks for the update. You have been hanging in there for a looong time. Keep letting your light shine! We are all praying for you and love you lots--The J's and the Romisch's

Shannon said...

Praying that Hudson would continue to recover quickly and that you'd be home on Friday.

carol schuldt said...

Kristi,

It's a new day, precious mother of four; you are so beautiful. God knows your heart, oh how He knows. Breathe deep, take His hand. We love you from a distance, but we hope you feel our prayers, Carol Schuldt